In other News : Talk About bad luck

T.I.'s To Return To Prison For Probation Violation

A federal judge hands down an 11-month sentence to T.I. for violating various terms of his probation.

Thursday, when asked about his role in preventing an Atlanta man from jumping from a 22-story building, T.I., said “I don't expect this to have any different impact on any of my circumstances.” It’s not clear if he was correct or not, as U.S. District Judge Charles Pannell Jr. ordered him to return to prison for 11 months for violating the terms of his probation. TMZ reports one of the officers from Wednesday’s suicide attempt testified on T.I.’s behalf.

After his September 1 arrest in California, T.I., whose real name is Clifford Harris, was charged of committing three violations of his supervised prison release: testing positive for opiates, possessing ecstasy, and associating with a convicted felon. A probation officer originally recommended 14 months of prison time for the Grammy award winning rapper, but lawyers for T.I. contended that such sentencing guidelines were for violent career criminals. The aforementioned argument was made on the basis that Tip’s prior conviction for assaulting a Florida police detective does not qualify as a violent felony.

T.I. is expected to appeal the case and remain free on bond until he is either sentenced or the charges overturned through the appeal process.

Sheldonisms Part 2

 

 

 

Season 3, Episode 19: "The Wheaton Recurrence"

Wheaton: Embrace the Dark Side!
Sheldon: That's not even from your franchise!
 

---

Sheldon: This is for you
Penny: Ice cream?
Sheldon: I've been familiarizing myself with female emotional crises by studying the comic strip, "Cathy." when she's upset she says, "ack" and eats ice cream.
Penny: Ack.
Sheldon: If you were a cat, I would have brought you lasagna.
 

---

Sheldon: Enjoy the accolades now, Wil Wheaton. But like your time on Star Trek: The Next Generation, your smug self-satisfaction will be short-lived.

---

Sheldon: A common spare. The Miss Congeniality of the Bowling Pageant.

---

Wolowitz: Why is Leonard being a giant douche? That is, assuming, of course that giant douches are possible.
Sheldon: Of course they are -- Leonard's being one.

---

Wolowitz: Okay forgot giant ants. How about giant rabbits?
Raj: Big or small, I don't like rabbits. They always look like they're about to say something, but they never do.
Sheldon: Rabbits do have a respiratory system that would support great size. And as a side note, they are one of the few animals whose scrotum is on the front of the penis.
Raj: Maybe that's what they want to talk about.

---

Season 3, Episode 18: "The Pants Alternative"

Sheldon: Didn't work. This alcohol is defective.

---

Sheldon: A neutron walks into a bar and asks, "How much for a drink?" The bartender says, "For you? No charge."

---

Sheldon: Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? To get to the same side.

---

Sheldon: I recently had a dream that I was giant, but everything around me was to scale, so it all looked normal.
Leonard: How did you know you were a giant if everything was to scale?

Season 3, Episode 18: "The Pants Alternative"

Raj: These methods come from the ancient gurus of India, and have helped me conquer my own fears.
Sheldon: And yet you can't speak to women.
Raj: True, but thanks to meditation, I am able to stay in the same room with them without urinating.

---

Penny: So what do you say, Sheldon, are we your X-Men?
Sheldon: No, the X-Men were named for the "X" in "Charles Xavier." Since I am Sheldon Cooper, you will be my "C-Men."
  

---

Leonard: We think we can help you with your stage fright.
Sheldon: Oh, I doubt that. I haven't figured out a way, and I'm much smarter than all of you.
Penny: Yes, buy you're not smaller than all of us put together.
Sheldon: I'm sorry, that is what I meant.
 

---

Penny: I once got a pretty big honor in high school, and I was terrified about appearing in front of a big crowd, but I went through with it, and you know what? The world looked pretty darn good sitting on a haystack in the back of a Ford F-150 as a member of the corn queen's court.
Sheldon: Thank you. I'll bear that in mind if I'm ever nomianted for the hillbilly peace prize.
 

---

Leonard: What, to you, is a large crowd?
Sheldon: Any group big enough to trample me to death. General rule of thumb is 36 adults or 70 children.
 

---

Sheldon: I can't give a speech.
Wolowitz: No, you're mistaken. You give speeches all the time. What you can't do is shut up.
Raj: Before the movie, you did twenty minutes on why guacamole turns brown. It turned brown while you were talking.
  • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink

---

Season 3, Episode 17: "The Precious Fragmentation"

Wolowitz: How's it feel to get beaten up by a girl?
Sheldon: It's not the first time. I have a twin sister whose assaults began in utero. If only I'd had the presence of mind to absorb her. Then I'd have a mole with hair in it, instead of a tedious yearly Christmas letter.
 

---

Penny: Who's Adam West?
Sheldon: Who's Adam West!? Leonard, what do you talk about after the coitus?
Wolowitz: My guess is "four minutes, a new record!"
 

---

Season 3, Episode 16: "The Excelsior Acquisition"

Sheldon: How can I possibly discuss with Stan Lee the scientific foundations for inter-stellar flight on a silver surfboard when part of my brain will be scanning his face for signs of contagious skin disease?

---

Sheldon: I don't trust banks. I believe that when the robots rise up, ATM's will lead the charge.
  

Wolowitz: Why do you have all of these unopened paychecks in your desk?
Sheldon: Because most of the things I'm planning to buy haven't been invented yet.
  • Rating: 9.0 / 10 • Permalink

---

Sheldon [about Stan Lee]: Did he finally write a sequel to his autobiography? I'm sure ages 79 to 87 were just action packed.
  • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

---

Season 3, Episode 15: "The Large Hadron Collision"

Sheldon: I believe you know why I'm here.
Penny: I always figured it was to study us, discover our weaknesses, and report back to your alien overlords.
  • Rating: 9.0 / 10 • Permalink

---

Sheldon: Given that St. Valentine was a 3rd century Roman priest who was stoned and beheaded, wouldn't a more appropriate celebration of the evening be taking one's steady gal to witness a brutal murder?
  • Rating: 9.6 / 10 • Permalink

---

Sheldon: Do you recognize this?
Leonard: Not the roommate agreement!
Sheldon: Indeed, the roommate agreement. I call your attention to the friendship rider in Appendix C: Future Commitments, Number 37. In the event one friend is ever invited to visit the Large Haldron Collider, now under construction in Switzerland, he shall invite the other friend to accompany him.
Leonard: For god's sake!
Penny: You actually put that in an agreement?
Leonard: We also put in what happens if one of us gets a MacArthur grant, or if one of us gets super powers, or if one of us turns into a zombie.
Sheldon: He can't kill me, even if I turned.
Penny: Ts there anything in there if one of you gets a girlfriend?
Sheldon: No, that seemed a little far fetched.
  • Rating: 7.3 / 10 • Permalink

---

Season 3, Episode 14: "The Einstein Approximation"

Sheldon: One bacon cheeseburger, breaking two Jewish dietary restrictions simultaneously.
  • Rating: 9.0 / 10 • Permalink

---

Sheldon: Your cell phone was off.
Leonard: Because we didn't want to be disturbed!
Sheldon: Well that didn't work out, now did it?
  • Rating: 7.0 / 10 • Permalink

---

Sheldon: I asked myself what is the most mind-numbing, pedestrian job conceivable and three answers came to mind: a toll booth employees, an Apple store genius, and what penny does. Because I don't like touch other peoples' coins and I refuse to contribute to the devaluation of the word genius, here I am.
  • Rating: 9.9 / 10 • Permalink

---

Season 3, Episode 13: "The Bozeman Reaction"

Sheldon: Bozeman does have a comedy club called the Loony Bin. Please don't forward my mail there.
  • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink

---

Sheldon: Wonderful security system if we're attacked by a school of tuna

Sheldonisms Part1:

Sheldon Cooper Quotes

Season 4, Episode 1: "The Robotic Manipulation"

Penny: Can I ask you a question?
Sheldon: Given your community college education, I encourage you to ask as many as possible.

---

Penny: OK. Well, then, there's a couple of things you should probably know.
Sheldon: I have a master's degree and two doctorates. The things I should know, I do know.

---

Sheldon: Amy pointed out that, between the two of us, our genetic material has the potential of producing the first in a line of intellectually superior, benign overlords to guide humanity to a brighter tomorrow.
Wolowitz: I'm guessing that future historians will condemn us for not taking this opportunity to kill Sheldon.

---

Sheldon: Apparently, a semi-incestuous Teens for Jesus hoedown didn't count.

---

Sheldon: You have broad hips and a certain corn-fed vigor. Is your womb available for rental?

---

Sheldon: At best, it's a modest leap forward from the technology that gave us Country Bear Jamboree.

---

Season 3, Episode 23: "The Lunar Excitation"

Sheldon: That's not afternoon. That's prevening.

---

Sheldon: Hello, Amy Farrah Fowler. I'm sorry to inform you that you've been taken in by unsupportable mathematics designed to prey upon the gullible and the lonely. Additionally, I am being blackmailed with a hidden dirty sock.
Amy: If that was slang, I'm unfamiliar with it. If it was literal, I share your aversion to soiled hosiery.

---

Wolowitz: Okay, what if I were to tell you, tomorrow at 4:30, you could meet a woman who has been scientifically chosen to be your perfect mate?
Sheldon: I would snort with derision and throw my arms in the air, exhausted by your constant tomfoolery.

---

Sheldon: Incidentally, one can get beaten up in school simply by referring to oneself as one.
•

Season 3, Episode 23: "The Lunar Excitation"

Sheldon: Yes, in 1917 when Albert Einstein established the theoretic foundation for the laser in his paper "Zur Quantentheorie der Strahlung," his fondest hope was that the resultant device be bitchin'.

---

Sheldon: As a native Texan, I must say that I've never heard the phrase "yee haw" used in quite that context.
Penny: Oh God.
Sheldon: "Oh God." That I've heard on multiple occasions.

---

Sheldon: I should have brought an umbrella.
Leonard: What for? It's not gonna rain.
Sheldon: I know that, but with skin as fair as mine, moon burn is a real possibility.

---

Season 3, Episode 22: "The Staircase Implementation"

Sheldon: Are you asking me or telling me?
Leonard: Telling you?

---

Sheldon: That's not an apology; that's simply an acknowledgment that I was right.
Leonard: Okay, I'm sorry.
Sheldon: There you go.

---

Sheldon: I assure you, you'll be sorry you wasted your money on an iPod when Microsoft comes out with theirs.

---

Leonard: What am I doing in your spam folder?
Sheldon: I put you there after you forwarded me a picture of a cat playing the piano entitled, "this is funny."

---

Sheldon: Roommates agree that Friday nights shall be reserved for watching Joss Whedon's brilliant new series, "Firefly."
Leonard: Does that really need to be in the agreement?
Sheldon: Might as well settle it now; it's going to be on for years.

---

Season 3, Episode 21: "The Plimpton Stimulation"

Sheldon: Can I get you something? A feminine hygiene product or a bowel-regulating yogurt?

---

Sheldon: Dr. Plimpton, Penny is a waitress who doesn't understand the role gasoline plays in the internal combustion engine.

Season 3, Episode 21: "The Plimpton Stimulation"

Leonard: Well, it wasn't my fault.
Sheldon: The implication being that you somehow tripped and fell into her lady parts?

---

Dr. Plimpton: What if there's a disaster that destroys all of the USB ports?
Sheldon: Then there's really no reason to live, is there?
•

---

Leonard: I think any university would want you -- except, of course, any university that had already had you, because they would have already wanted you, before they, you know, got you.
Sheldon: From the mind that brought you "hi-lo."

---

Sheldon: I have a lady friend who will be staying with me for a few days. I want her to feel at home; I also bought scented soaps, pantyhose, Midol, calcium chews, and what is apparently a yogurt specifically designed to regulate the female bowel.

---

Leonard: Are you planning on kidnapping a woman?
Sheldon: Sarcasm?
Leonard: Yes, but mixed with a little bit of concern.

---

Season 3, Episode 20: "The Spaghetti Catalyst"

Sheldon: And now, as promised, the tangent. Sheldon and the Hell-hound. Or. How I Lost My Hot Dogs.

---

Sheldon: Allegiance to male comrades before women who sell their bodies for money.
•

---

Sheldon: Sometimes your lack of social skills astonishes me.
•

---

Sheldon: It was a lot of work to accommodate you in my life. I'd hate to think that effort to be in vain.
•

---

Season 3, Episode 19: "The Wheaton Recurrence"

Wheaton: Embrace the Dark Side!
Sheldon: That's not even from your franchise!

Ladies ladies ladies...world cup season!

1. DO NOT ask stupid questions during a match or utter stupid remarks e.g. “Si I thought Messi plays 4 Barcelona!!!”

2. A soccer match is a testosterone filled contact sport. It is about will power, skill and team work. It is not a beauty pageant. So please, do not comment on the appearance of certain players or the uniforms esthetic value e.g. “I want Portugal to win. Christiano Ronaldo is so cute.”

3. As of 11th June to 11th July, all soap operas and talk shows are hereby forbidden and outlawed. The mere utterance of ‘Alehandro’ will be met by stiff penalties to the fullest extent of insults.

4. Ladies, you are expected to learn some basics about football before the world cup. This is to avoid any embarrassment to you or to your man. E.g. If the goalkeeper picks up the ball with his hands, do not cry out “HANDBALL!!!!”

5. Ladies, your man, that is your boyfriend or husband, by birthright, is not expected to perform any favors or chores during the course of the match. Football is sacred and any interference of this solemn ritual will be termed as sacrilege.

6. If you have anything to say to a man, take note that whatever it is, it is trivial in comparison to the football match. So please, a word of advice; true love waits till half time.

7. Ladies, you are expected to cook and provide refreshments for the boys as they watch a match. It is your duty. Embrace it.

8. In the case that an African team faces a non African team, you are expected by default to support our African brothers as they valiantly fight against Babylon. Do not; by any means support some Scandinavian country because you think their captain look like Micheal Scofield.

9. Ladies, please, do not complain why they are not passing the ball to the guy with the whistle. He’s the referee!

10. Finally, if your man’s team looses, mourn with him, you may even get him a beer. And insist that the ref was unfair and biased.

All ladies are hereby required to have firm knowledge of these guidelines, print them, and memorize them before the world cup

Half Undone

Dont you just hate it when you listening to music by an artist or a band who keep surprising you in the wrong way, and sometimes the right way? Ok,hate may be a tad strong a word, but you gotta admit it,when a song has a crazy title and you're all psyked up to listen to it,but when you actually do, you're left with a bland look on you're face? Or a song you have on your ipod / phone and never listen to, but when it plays in the club you're like "Damn,that sounds nice-where have I heard it before?". For the former, I blame some punk-rock bands-they have some crazy names and they always lead you to think-"I have got to get their album!" But when you do, you're like...REFUND! For the latter, Blue October and Kanye West stand out. OK Kanye is abit too consistent in his delivery, ie. good title, good song, always. Am on a Blue October kick right now. Their videos make them look like the original Weird Al Yankovic, but i like their delivery,and diversity. At least they aren't Marilyn Monroe-this person's(yes,person,because I do not think he has a gender,and its not a compliment) music enjoys cult like status,and making you want to ask,liberal as you may be-whats is the fricking world coming to??

So today, I want you all to listen to A Quiet mind by Blue October, and also Half Undone, by the same band. Yeah, that was it...that was what the whole title was about

Welcome to Heartbreak by Kanye West.

My friend showed me pictures of his kids
And all I could show him was pictures of my cribs
He said his daughter got a brand new report card
And all I got was a brand new sports car, oh

And my head keeps spinning
Can't stop having these visions, I gotta get with it
And my head keeps spinning
I can't stop having these visions, I gotta get with it

Dad cracked a joke, all the kids laughed
But I couldn't hear him all the way in first class
Chased the good life my whole life long
Look back on my life and my life gone
Where did I go wrong?

And my head keeps spinning
Can't stop having these visions, I gotta get with it
And my head keeps spinning
I can't stop having these visions, I gotta get with it

I've seen it, I've seen it before
I've seen it, I've seen it before
I've seen it, I've seen it before
I've seen it, I've seen it before

Oh my God, sister getting married by the lake
But I couldn't figure out who I'd wanna take
Bad enough that I showed up late
I had to leave before they even cut the cake
Welcome to heartbreak

And my head keeps spinning
Can't stop having these visions, I gotta get with it
And my head keeps spinning
I can't stop having these visions, I gotta get with it










Well. I just have to give credit where its due.